I first want to thank everyone for coming together as we all try and comfort each other. Over the course of the past few days many people have shared their condolences with me. In doing so the word inspiration has been used often.  As much as that word is appropriate, Donna's imprint on my life goes far beyond inspiration.  No one person has shaped my life more than my sister.

If you were fortunate enough to have Donna step into your life you were transformed, your perspectives were shifted, your focus was sharpened and your appreciation for life was stimulated. I am sure that my words only reinforce your own understanding of this phenomena.

Donna's life was so incredible, so rich and so full. Not many of us are able to live life the way that my sister did – Donna lived every day as if it were a gift. The simple things in life that most of us take for granted were never lost on my sister.

Donna always looked forward.  She never forget the memories that made her smile. She always enjoyed the present and found a way to turn the now into one of those smiling memories.

People say that when it comes to love the more you give away the more it will be returned to you. Imagine for a moment the amount of love Donna had in her heart when you think how much she gave away to each and everyone of us. The love that you returned to her enriched her life as much as she enriched yours.

When you think my sister never forget that love and remember to share it with someone. When you do my sister's soul will be lifted up along with yours and the people who receive your love. Never stop loving, never stop looking ahead and never stop embracing life. That is how my sister lived and that is her legacy.

Today I needed it.  The sky was blue and the temperature was above forty.  Perfect day to get out there.  I needed to clear my mind.  Nothing is as purifying as being on my bike.  I am alone with my thoughts and that is exactly what I needed today.  I needed to listen to my what my mind had to say.

It was one of those amazing day.  The trees are still bare but you could see the buds swelling with anticipation. The daffodils were all at different stages. Some with just their green tops pushing through the earth. Others pregnant with color just waiting to break through and paint the landscape.  The few that spend much of the days bathed in the sunshine are already extending their yellow trumpet narrowly outward, not yet having had the chance to widen and open all of the way up.

An amazing variety of birds were were all out taking in the sunshine.  The vulture who ran from me and at the last second realized I might catch him. Even though I was no threat, he lept up and took to flight in order to avoid me.  The red tailed hawk dashing into the sky to seek his prey.  The lack of thick ground cover must make his hunting easier at this time of the year. The heron who looked so awkward until his wings spread out as he flew so gently above the earth. Spring is starting to show itself.

I am always careful but today I stayed out of the world with the people and the cars. I find the greatest peace on my rides. A sanctuary within the hectic world. When I penetrate deeply into that quiet world, I can ride with ease.  The end result was a time that was greater than ten minutes faster than the last time I did this same ride.  

Today I had someone else with me.  She helped me to be focused.  From now on she will only be in the peaceful world, but she will be ever present when I am able to get out into that space.  It made me happy to know where I can find her.

I can feel it in the air when a storm is possible.  It is always a risk when I head out for a ride in these conditions.  It is not pleasant when it rains but it does not prevent the ride. I will put my phone in a zip-lock bag and get ready to get wet.

This particular ride started out dry but as I said the sky was hanging heavy. I had planned to follow my twenty two mile training ride.  It is my most familiar ride but because of the ominous atmosphere I was trying to ride at a quick pace so as to beat the weather.

The map of this ride is shaped like a lollipop; a long straight path followed by a big loop that comes back into the same straight that I use to get out to the loop.

The rain started when I was riding the loop. It was upsetting as I was really hoping to have avoided getting wet. The concern of getting wet was soon diminished with the first cracking of thunder.  Panic started to set in as I could see the lightening in the sky followed almost immediately by the rumble.

Sitting on a steel bike, in the middle of a farm field, soaking wet with bolts of lightning lighting up the black clouds does not engender comfort. As you would expect I started to search for any type of shelter where I could hunker down a wait out the storm.  I started to think about getting into one of the ditches along the road that is used for run off from the field.  I would be very wet but I think it would offer me the best protection from electrocution. I considered continuing my ride as fast as I could and keep my fingers crossed that I would be able to outrun the danger.  That thought was just dumb!

Finally I saw a barn with its door ajar and felt this was my only choice.  I pulled up on my bike and leaned it against the outside wall and stuck my head in just to be sure I would not be met by any guard dogs.  The barn was housing several horses and about a dozen fierce guard cats.  When the cats realized I was not there to feed them, they quickly ignored me and when along their way.

Oddly, almost as soon as I got squared away inside the doorway of the barn my phone started to ring.  I expected it would be Lisa (my wife) even though I had called her when the rain started only to learn she was not home and could not pick me up. As it turns out the phone call was from my brother Paul.

As I stood in the doorway of that barn I looked out at the fast moving dense clouds.  I watched those clouds ignite with lightning.  I watched the rain come down in sheets and I listened to the roar of the thunder claps. I heard my brother tell me that my father had lung cancer. I was engulfed by a storm far larger than what I could see in the sky just outside that barn door.

Where I Go When I Ride

I hop on, clip in, look down to make sure the computer is capturing data, and the wheels start to spin faster. I have an app loaded on my phone to track my ride and my headphones are in my ears to feed music and statistics. 

I look back to see my house fading away and all responsibilities dissolve as well.  I start up the first little hill in the neighborhood and start to feel my legs begin their pumping motion.  My only requirement is to move my legs in the circular motion that propels me up and over the hill.

Though I am totally exposed - open to all the elements, I start to retreat into another place, an isolated place.  The road and the reality become just a pathway that takes me into a world that I occupy independently.  This is a place where my thoughts are in charge and I am sealed away from distraction.  The houses and scenery become a backdrop of my new environment and they pass by me in a film like form. 

I turn right to leave the neighborhood and I start the first decent.  It is not big but my speed is pushed up effortlessly.  I can feel the wind on my face and I realize how fast I must pedal in order to keep the chain turning the back wheel.  As I shift to a higher gear I start to think about cadence and consistent pedal strokes.  Once again I have to shift to get up the hill that leads to the main road.  This will be the last time I think about it - from here on out the shifting happens without a thought. 

At this point my world is hovering above everyone else’s. Occasionally I feel the wind or an auto gets close to me and I realize I still have one foot firmly planted and I still occupy a presence. As I come to the intersection where traffic is always abundant, I begin the dance that enables me to navigate between these two worlds. The choreography enables me to persist in their world without having to leave mine. 

As my body starts to warm up we begin our conversation. I start to ask: “will the hills be easy today? or will I find them more challenging?”  As the road begins to rise my legs answer me back.  They tell me what to expect from them.  That is when I know if my legs will carry me forward or if I will have to use my mind to convince them that they must not betray me. I always know the answer therefore I will always know if it is to be a physical challenge or a mental challenge - either way I look to push beyond that limit.  

My phone whispers in my ears my progress thus far.  I have a bad habit of slowing my legs in order to listen to the report, but when I hear the current pace and overall pace I snap into action.  At this point I know what to expect and I start to think about the first few hills and I begin to get excited.  As I come around a big bend the first hill presents itself to me. The nerves in my stomach start to roll as the anxiety builds. 

This hill is a slow long climb.  The grade is not steep but it will test my assumptions. There are two waves to this hill with a short plateau in the middle.  As I get to the second wave I start to look for the top of the telephone poles.  This is what I use to estimate the peak of the hill - I look for the highest pole and then I know how much further I will have to ascend. At this point I have confirmed my assumptions and I am carried up and forward by my legs or by my mind ordering my legs to do so. 

The reward to this hill is not a steep decline.  It is a nice long flat piece of pavement.  The fields are open on either side and if the wind is strong I will know about it at this point.  On this flat I can exceed my planned cadence, but that effortless shifting ensures that all the energy is focused into speed.  This is the first time that I have a piece of flat ground to work with.  Joy washes over me as I am able to shift higher and higher and my speed reaches a downhill pace.  I always expend too much energy here because it is so much fun to go so fast unassisted. 

My turn is coming up and I dive down a wooded road.  I have streams along side the road and horses and dogs all greet me as I invade their peace. Now I am able to realize how beautiful this all is.  I know that my goal is to get through this road before I meet my thirty minute mark.  I also know how fast I should be going when I hit every looping curve in the road.  It is filled with ups and downs but no hills to speak of.  I will generally encounter one or two cars on this road and I tend to ride here as though I own the road. 

At the thirty minute mark I know if I am on pace or if I have to make up time but first I must make it through another intersection.  At the traffic light I notify everyone with hand signals that I will be turning on to the main road.  This road is heavily traveled at high speeds but the shoulders are as wide as a car lane.  It is the longest straight away of the ride and once again I can focus on how well my legs are turning. There are a few places where I have to watch the drivers because they never watch me but this road is bliss.  Rolling hills and easy shifting.  High gears and fast speeds.  I try and improve my pace knowing the next leg will slow me down. 

As I turn to head home I am always fooled into expecting an easy time of things but it is never so.  looking ahead I can not witness any significant hill.  There is a rise that is easily seen but the significance of this climb is always underestimated. I get to a specific spot and every time I hit this section of road I feel like I am pedaling backwards.  I lose my frame of reference as to where the hill starts and how long I will need to pace it out.  This always catches me off guard so I am forced to muddle through. 

I turn left to head towards the road I used to ride out this way and this is where I feel the descent to the hidden hill I just climbed.  This road is full of twists and turns and I must always share it with motor vehicles.  The road is narrow and the curves makes it hard to see the other vehicles and for them to see me.  This hinders my ability to take advantage back side of the hill and generate the type of speed I would normally see.  After I dip down to a stream crossing I climb back up and I am surrounded by fields again.  I am now racing to meet the end of this road before my sixty minute mark.  In the beginning of the season I am most often behind schedule. 

I turn back onto the road that took me out and I begin to retrace my steps.  At this point I am unable to ride this familiar flat at the same pace I did coming out, but I come close.  I know that I will finally have the chance to take advantage of the first hill that I climbed and I will reach my top speeds of the ride.  I look forward to having the hill to myself as I prefer to move to the middle of the road when traveling at high speed.  There is less debris and I feel like I am less likely to crash.  

As I come upon the down-slope I realize I have shifted to the highest available gear.  Even still I must exceed my cadence just to keep up with the back wheel.  I don’t even realize my speed until I hit the second wave of the down-slope   When I do, my heart pumps a boost of adrenaline into my veins as I am frightened by the actual speed. When I come upon the bend I realize my heart is pumping almost as hard as it did when I climbed this hill.  I let the bike coast as I roll through the bend and let my mind catch up to my body. 

If only that was the way the ride would end, but there is now one big climb ahead of me.  The road I will turn onto is a road that puts a strain on my car when I come home at night.  The hill starts very steep, the grade decreases but the hill lingers for a while.  Once I get past the initial steep climb I will have to continue to climb for several minutes.  All that said this is the last big challenge of the ride and I look forward to it.  

It is that same busy intersection I first encountered when I started the ride, so it is unlikely that I will carry any momentum into the hill - traffic will prevent that.  Once I start on the hill I am so excited by the prospect of the climb that I am half way up the steep grade before I realize that I am on the hill.  My breathing changes and my legs burn but it feels so good!  As I progress I feel like I can look past this steep climb and onto to the lower grade.  It is a sense of relief even though the rest of this hill is as difficult as any other that I have been over in this ride. 

Once off of the steep grade my efforts shift from my legs to my lungs.  The burning in my legs backs off but my lungs look to convert all the air that surrounds me into fuel to move through my blood over my entire body.  My heart beats not only quickly but firmly and hard.  I can feel that it is moving my chest with each pulse pounding within.  I am amazed by the symphony of events that take place within the confines of my body in order to ensure that I reach the apex.  

Each time I ride it gets a bit easier.  Soon I will need another, bigger hill to maintain this sensation.  It is great that this hill comes near the completion of my ride. As I am able to sit back onto the saddle, I know that this challenge has hit my overall pace so I listen for the statistics to make sure I have not reduced my hard work too much.  I look for ways to extend the mileage a little bit and work at increasing the pace for my cool down.  

I pull into the neighborhood and I circle around to cool down.  As I see my house come into view I begin to return to reality but with a new outlook.  I am exhausted and exhilarated.  The payoff is incredible - emotionally I have been taken through the paces.  I am content with the results and enjoy the afterglow. 

I have taken inspiration from my friend and fellow rider +Harj Dhillon  and decided to write a little about my experiences and thoughts while on the bike. I hope that there are some folks out there who will enjoy the expression.  

If you like you can view +Harj Dhillon 's blog here: http://whyibike.blogspot.com/